Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday Stalker 101

If you are anything like me, Saturday night in New York is a night to drink heavily with your friends. I personally would prefer some good old-fashioned day-drinking any day of the week, but its been ingrained in our culture that saturday night is the night to go out the "hardest", so that's what I end up doing. Whether its a birthday celebration, some friends I haven't seen in a while getting together, a buckhunter tournament, a sporting event or just a plain old drinking game night (this includes a Peter/Quagmire "Drink the Beer" game), the drunkest night of the week for me is always saturday night. There are some people that catch a good buzz, go home at a decent hour and get a good night of sleep, but that's not the way my friends and I do things. I've passed out on a bench outside a hotel, participated in a garbage bag pile jumping contest, passed out at a table at a restaurant, and this is only in the past 3 months. The whole point I'm trying to get to, besides convincing myself I have a serious drinking problem, is that most of my sundays consist of me laying on a couch watching tv, some drinks to bite the dog that bit me, eating slutty food, a few naps, and numerous unsuccesful attempts at recounting the prior night. And yes, I am writing this with a freshly blown 0.12 from my breathalyzer at 3pm, thanks to a couple Hot N' Dirty's (Vodka, Olive juice, and tobasco). This is basically all I have known on sundays for a good 10+ years.

So last sunday, I decided that this would all change. As hungover as I was, I mustered up enough motivation to leave the holy couch and go for a walk. As I stepped out into the cool, brisk air, a euphoric feeling came over me. Is this what sunday's feel like for normal people? I wandered down to union square, and was shocked by the amount of people that were out and about, being productive and embracing their day. So I got to thinking, what were these people doing for the rest of their day? Were they down here grabbing a quick bite then heading home? Were they getting a coffee and a newspaper? Were they buying new artwork for their living room? What do people do on sundays???

I mean, I'm a pretty curious guy. Google and Wikipedia are probably 2 of the top 3 websites I visit most, right behind ESPN streak for the cash. I never thought I was excessively inquisitive, until I began telling people about the following idea: I want to follow around a random person on a sunday and see what they do. You see, I recently began rewatching the Wire, and there is an episode where McNulty is with his kids in the grocery store when he sees Stringer Bell walk in. He tells the kids to follow him, one in front, one in back. They end up following him to his car, when one of the kids writes down the license plate number of the car that String got into. This simple spy work has always appealed to me, and I always have wanted to try it out. So what better project to satisfy my curiousity and my desire to be a spy than to follow around a randomly selected person for a day? I will pick a random person, couple, whoever, and follow them around. If they go to a restaurant, I go to the restaurant, if they go uptown, I go uptown, if they go to Brooklyn, I'm there too.

So there you have it. This is the project I have ahead of me, and the next entry will be a recapitulation of a random person's activities on a sunday. I'm hopeful for a complete trainwreck of a person, so there can be some hilarious shenanigans to report back on. Also, unlike everything awesome you have ever seen on TV, you are encouraged to try this at home. Guest bloggers are welcome to submit your recounts to: sundaystalker@gmail.com

Happy stalking,
Matt



"Hey Mr. Sunlight, gonna outshine your bright,
I'm talking out of my head, I'm so high on life.
Don't you know that it's gonna be a "thousand-and-one" day.
And I'm feelin' kinda Sunday, (feelin' kinda Sunday), feelin' kinda Sunday.

Pardon my glow-on, but from the high I'm on,
I see myself in this world right where I belong,
There's nothing can hold me down , it's a "get-up-and-run" day.
And I'm feelin' kinda Sunday (Sunday), feelin' kinda Sunday (Sunday),
Feelin' kinda Sunday, (Sunday)."